Stay Cool! & "Sorry" is Enough

Wrapped up our Rescuing Frankenstein Relationships series this morning. I'm convinced the monster of anger and unforgiveness is the culprit of more damaged relationships than anything else.

Anger itself is not bad. Anger is a God-given emotion to alert us when something is wrong and it needs fixed. But, angry responses such as venting, revenge, or 'bottling-up' provides an opportunity for Satan to work.

Be angry and do not sin. Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, and don’t give the Devil an opportunity. (Ephesians 4:26 - 27)

"Stay Cool!" If you don't, someone more horrible than you will take control.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31 - 32)

Forgiveness is the key to any lasting relationship. We are to forgive others as God has forgiven us. How has God forgiven us? Is there any limit to God's forgiveness?

God's grace is Amazing! And, by His grace, we can manage our anger and forgive others.

How to Fight!

Tonight's newlyweds group we will be talking about how to fight.

I really believe fights do not have to end with a winner and a loser. Our fights can and should be a win/win.

Here's the key, agree to:

• Include God in the process. Psalm 32:8.
• Speak to your partner as you would like to be spoken to. Matthew 7:12.
• Seek to understand more than to be understood. James 1:19.
• Choose your words carefully. Proverbs 12:18.
• Do not bring up past grievances. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8.

Fighting by the rules will assure that the relationship wins!

Say it Right!

Words are so powerful!

I wish I had the power to recover some of the words I have spoken in the past. God says that 'Death and Life are in the power of the tongue.' He also, warns us that we are accountable for every word we speak. At first that seems a bit unfair, but after realizing the power of words, I see why we need to be accountable.

It's always puzzled me as to how we could be held accountable for something we cannot control. The Bible says in the book of James that no one can tame his tongue. But, James also speaks of how a pilot controls a ship with just a small rudder.

Jesus says that our words are a reflection of our hearts. Since what we say reflects our heart, we need to allow Jesus to be the pilot of our lives. When Jesus is the captain of our lives, our words will give life.

‘This is not good!’

What was the first thing that God said was ‘not’ good?

God said of His creation that everything was good. Have you ever wondered, ‘What was the first thing that God said was not good?’ Well here it is: ‘It is not good for man to be ALONE.’ (Genesis 2:18)

Whether you are more introverted or extroverted is irrelevant, God says that relationships are good for us. Relationships are the source of life’s greatest fulfillments as well as life’s deepest sorrows. Good relationships require skill and much work. It takes work to build and maintain healthy, meaningful relationships, but as Solomon reminds us that in the end it will be worth it.

‘Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble. Likewise, two people lying close together can keep each other warm. But how can one be warm alone? A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.’

The Psalmist said it this way:

‘How wonderful and pleasant it is when brothers live together in harmony! For harmony is as precious as the anointing oil that was poured over Aaron’s head, that ran down his beard and onto the border of his robe. Harmony is as refreshing as the dew from Mount Hermon that falls on the mountains of Zion. And there the LORD has pronounced his blessing, even life everlasting.’

I’m really enjoying our current message series:

What did you expect?

What expectations did you have about your marriage before you ‘tied the knot?’

Last night our small group talked about marriage expectations. We all have expectations going into marriage. Most premarital expectations are unrealistic. Unfulfilled expectations in marriage will cause heartache and strain for couples. Proverbs 13:12 says, ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick.’ Couples should communicate what they expect in their marriage and develop realistic expectations.

Realistic expectations, because they can be fulfilled, builds a marriage and makes brings great joy and satisfaction. The second half of Proverbs 13:12 says, 'but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.’

Another thought on expectations. Be sure that most of your expectations are placed on you and not your spouse. You should be more concerned about you being all that you can and should be for the one you are married to.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)

Rescuing Frankenstein Relationships

I'm really excited about our new invite cards and message series.

Does it sometimes feel like a “monster” is choking the life out of your relationships? It’s Alive!!! But you can overcome the monster’s grip on your life. It is possible to have successful and meaningful relationships with your family, friends, and co-workers. Join us Sundays @ 11 AM to find out how to tame the relationship "monster".

Relationship Series

I want to do a relationship series in February. Any ideas? Last year we did a series titled Everybody Loves... I thought it went real well. I thought about using the same title, just pick a few different topics. But I'd rather have another series title and focus on the same topics: Friendship, Work, Marriage, and Family.

Anyway, just thought I'd put it out there and get some feedback.