Godly Sex?

Last night, Godly Sex?, was the title of our study. We really tried to keep the discussion 'G' rated. I really question the benefit of sharing openly what should be kept Private. But, with this topic, there will unavoidably be a few blushes. We did have some great laughs...it was a blast!

Godly Sex? I Know, sounds like an oxymoron. But, really it is not. Remember God did create us. And sex was not an accident.

I think the biggest take away was that 'Great sex' is multidimensional. It is not just physical. It is also spiritual and emotional. On the spiritual dimension, sex honors God when we keep sex within the bounds of marriage and seek to please our partner more than our own self-gratification. Sex was never meant to be a selfish act.

Proverbs 5:15-19

How to Fight!

Tonight's newlyweds group we will be talking about how to fight.

I really believe fights do not have to end with a winner and a loser. Our fights can and should be a win/win.

Here's the key, agree to:

• Include God in the process. Psalm 32:8.
• Speak to your partner as you would like to be spoken to. Matthew 7:12.
• Seek to understand more than to be understood. James 1:19.
• Choose your words carefully. Proverbs 12:18.
• Do not bring up past grievances. 1 Corinthians 13:4–8.

Fighting by the rules will assure that the relationship wins!

Good Communication: What does it look like?

Our small group topic last night was Good Communication: What Does it Look Like?.

We learned about three levels of communication for married couples:

• Level One: The 'Grunt' Level.
• Level Two: The 'Information' Level.
• Level Three: The 'Inner Feeling' Level.

The sign of a strong marriage relationship is when people are comfortable and confident enough to communicate at level three: Sharing our inner most feelings.

Here are the four helps for couples to move up their communication level:

• Be quick to listen and slow to speak. (James 1:19–26: Proverbs 20:5)
• Ask God to help you to have Spirit-controlled conversations. (James 1:19–26; James 3:2–12: Proverbs 15:23)
• Speak the truth in love. (Ephesians 4:1–16)
• Our words should encourage and build up. (Ephesians 4:29–5:2)

Small Groups: WOW!

Last night was our second Strong Foundations for Newlyweds Small group meeting. The first meeting was great with just four people, but last night I felt it was off the charts with twelve people there.

Wow...I can see why small group meetings have become so popular and productive. This small group type of gathering is new for Gi and I, so we feel as if we have a lot to learn, but are anxious to just learn as we go.

We are so thankful for the great people in the group. Can't wait till next week.

What did you expect?

What expectations did you have about your marriage before you ‘tied the knot?’

Last night our small group talked about marriage expectations. We all have expectations going into marriage. Most premarital expectations are unrealistic. Unfulfilled expectations in marriage will cause heartache and strain for couples. Proverbs 13:12 says, ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick.’ Couples should communicate what they expect in their marriage and develop realistic expectations.

Realistic expectations, because they can be fulfilled, builds a marriage and makes brings great joy and satisfaction. The second half of Proverbs 13:12 says, 'but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.’

Another thought on expectations. Be sure that most of your expectations are placed on you and not your spouse. You should be more concerned about you being all that you can and should be for the one you are married to.

So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets. (Matthew 7:12)